You can thank me later...

Seriously. No, srsly.

I can never pass up a chance to use this guy

Just pin these two tips right now to your "I can do it" Pinterest board.

Okay, #1:  I consider myself a pretty good cook - not gourmet by any means, but being a chemist, I can find my way around the kitchen. Except for one very basic technique: hard boiling eggs. Basic, easy-peasy, simple - right? Well, no. Mine used to be okay when I did it my mom's way, which was boiling them to death for 20 minutes. They peeled okay most of the time, but they were too hard and rubbery and had a green rim around the yolks. So then I started experimenting. For years. Big mistake. I used everyone's Never Fail Hard Boiled Egg recipe that I could find, and they all failed. I used salt in the water, baking soda in the water, putting the eggs in the water then starting to boil, putting the eggs in boiling water, ice water, timing differences, using old eggs - basically every permutation possible. And they all peeled horribly and looked like the surface of the moon:

So finally I quit following recipes and pulled bits and pieces from everything I learned and came up with my fool-proof (really!) recipe. And my eggs look like this every. single. time.

perfection

I bought these yesterday, so old eggs are not necessary. I use a bulletin board push pin to poke a hole in the wide end of the egg. Not sure if this is really necessary, but it's kind of fun and my motto is if it's not broke, don't fix it. Okay, use a large enough pot to hold the number of eggs you want to boil. I always make 11 eggs (they fit into my mason jar), and a 4.5 qt (I think) pot. A big one. Bring a bunch of water to a seriously rolling boil, sprinkle in some salt, and lower the cold eggs in using a slotted spoon. Start your timer for 13 minutes, then lower heat to about medium-low. You want a few bubbles, so maybe it's a high simmer? In the meantime, put a bunch of ice cubes in a large bowl and fill with water. You want a cold, cold, cold ice bath. After 13 minutes, use the slotted spoon and put the eggs in the ice bath to cool. When they are cold, crack and peel. And this is how I store them so we have a go-to snack:

grab-n-go

Okay, hint #2. Totally unrelated as it has to do with plumbing, but maybe it will save you a service call. You know how when you start your disposal and it just grinds and grinds and water starts rising in the other side of the sink and you think oh shit? Well, this tip is from an actual plumber, who made a trip to our house years ago but didn't charge us because he was in the neighborhood anyway and I think felt sorry for me. I wrote it down then and taped it inside the cupboard below the sink. I've had to use it a few times since, and I had to use it the other week so thought I'd pass it on. The plumber said it creates more force than plunging.

Fill garbage disposal side with water.

Plug other side and hold down tight. The stopper will want to push up. Seriously, lean on it!

Turn on disposal.

And that's it!

You are welcome.

EDITED: I forgot to add that I sprinkle some salt in the water when I put it on to boil. Half a teaspoon or so. Again, not sure if it's necessary, but it works for me. Look at those beautiful hard boiled eggs!